Sometimes I blink and my thoughts turn upside down. Like the world was never round, and the clouds were no longer floating but drowning.
Sometimes my thoughts are drowning. They crash against the sharp surface of my regrets and fears, foaming furiously in hopes to tear them down, because over the years they build and decay just like everything else.
Everything else. Everything flows with this current of emotions like it’s helpless to fight, helpless to do anything but move with it; though I have the notion that I’d like to stay still sometimes.
We’d all like to stay still, sometimes. Still as the calmness of a sunny day, still as the warmth of a smiling face. Your face maybe. But the depths of this ocean are too endless to let me loose pace with the world. So I let the riptide take me away, let the salt scratch at my pain, and as I go under the changes I breathe in will mean that I can never be the same.
Flashes of swimming color cause a spark of thought and I cough, the sea now apart of my lungs, choking my mind with the choices of my life. Everything now just flows together, an unconscious summary of events becoming the liquid in my veins, my heart pumping it into every limb until I can barely even remember my name. Colors once more swim before my closing eyes, so beautiful, so beautiful.
Then so am I, swimming. Like that shimmery object slightly out of reach. My hands reach towards the sky, closer and closer to the surface, fighting to the top until my lips taste the air like a kiss.
I blink sometimes in the sunlight, and my thoughts turn the world right again. And I am no longer drowning but floating.
– Written by me. Thought I’d share it 🙂